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Question by The World Traveler: Korean social clash or just a negative expertise?
Okay, in May of this year I flew to Korea to meet a penpal/friend who I’ve identified for a small over a year on the net via myspace and penpal web sites exactly where we became very good friends. Her and her parent’s invited me to remain at their apartment for 2 weeks. I get there and everything’s wonderful. We went sight seeing, go on shopping trips, night clubs and went to some temples in Changwon and Busan. We where laughing, smiling and having a very good time. But when we went to Seoul she totally changed. She started to ignore me and be really mean towards me. For example I ran out of actual tough money and I had to pay her for the train tickets she booked in advance. When I tell her she rolls her eyes and says you must of recognized how significantly money ahead of you came! I am thinking in my mind woah! geez! We get to the atm that takes international credit cards and it really is all in Korean. I stated to her can you help me? She rolled her eyes again and said cannot you just do it! I got my cash and as I was attempting to place it in my money belt she began walking out of the bank and I’m like can you please wait for me? She rolls her eyes once again. Then in the subway in Seoul it is packed with people and I’m surrounded by a entire bunch of old ladies and at one particular of the stops walks off with out a word and the doors closed and she’s gone! I get off at the subsequent cease and wait there. Hoping she’ll get on the next train and meet me there. She does and I tell her can u please speak to me so we don’t get lost? Then at the last palace we go to in Seoul she finally snaps at me. Saying “There’s a sign in English! Read it! I’m not your guide!”. I was completely caught off guard at that point coz I thought almost everything was going so well. Then I asked her trying not to cry why are you treating me like this! Then she says i do not comprehend how tough it is for her to speak English. Even even though her English is super excellent. Then she stated I ought to of recognized what to do (like the atm, making use of a Korean washing machine at the hostel we stayed at) just before coming right here! I’m like I by no means even been to Korea ahead of! How can you count on me to know anything in two weeks with out asking for support! Then she provides me the story about how challenging it was for her in America as an exchange student in America for a year and how she had to do everything by herself. I stated to her “I just asked you how do you do it!” I did not ask her to really do it for me! At that point I did not want her to runaway from me in Seoul so I just mentioned “Let’s just go”. Then we got back to Changwon that day. I was so pleased to see her parents due to the fact they are super good. Then the subsequent day I decided to just discover Changwon myself. Which was quite cool because I met a medical doctor at the mcdonalds who was shocked to see a foreigner. I told him about my trip and what at had occurred. He gave me some quite very good advice. Then the subsequent day my penpal’s former english tutor wanted to introduce me to his night class of high school girls. Which was fairly entertaining. It was a excellent change from being around my penpal. That night although I couldn’t take anymore of it though and I told her mother what had occurred. My penpal refused to translate for me even though. So they had a english dictornary and I got the point across to her mother. Her mother got super mad at her. My penpal was telling me how tough it was having to pay for herself at the locations we went. I told her if you did not wanna go to a particular spot we didnt have to. (she planned all the places we went to) Out of shock they told me I have to go to a hotel. Her mother felt super bad for me and kept telling me sorry. I gave them the gifts I brought for the family at that point. I was gonna give it to them on my final day. This created the mother really feel even worse. I kept telling her it is ok. I couldn’t keep the gifts coz of the weight in my luggage. Then the english tutor who i met earlier showed up. I feel the mother had known as him. He translated almost everything I had to say to her mother. Telling everything that had occurred. So the mother helped me pack my suitcases and we went to this fancy hotel. I felt super poor there simply because she was gonna spend for me to stay in this good hotel. I provided her some cash for it but she refused and said through the tutor “sorry, for my inmature daughter. ” So I stayed there the rest of my trip (three nights) I did a little bit more exploring of Changwon. Then the English tutor and my penpal’s mother came to pick me up. Then they dropped me off at Gimhae Airport I told the mom thanks for every thing you had been extremely nice to me shook her hand and I made my journey back to Toronto, Canada and then back to Buffalo, NY. I was still upset when I got residence cause I lost a excellent friend. Then just right now I looked her up on a penpal site and she changed it talking about going to penpals and mentioned “Watch out for selfish people!”. So Koreans what do you assume of all this? Was it just one particular bad knowledge? or are many Korean girls like this? Most of the Koreans I met were quite nice and friendl
Sorry, for the enormous story. lol But i did not actually know how to clarify it with no getting to write about the facts and stuff. Oh, I don’t speak to her any longer. That night that I left their apartment for the hotel was the last time i talked to her.
I do not know if she attempted to get revenge for a thing that happened to her in america. Like she was nice to me and we had a very good time the initial week of my trip. But then she created it seem like I was taking benefit of her (like employing her to go to Korea) and that I was annoying by asking her to help me figure out stuff. When that was completely not the case. I believed she was my buddy. Her mom called her husband and I think they agreed to put me in a hotel. I believe they didn’t want me to suffer anymore about their daughter.
Ace: Her parent’s and my penpal invited me to stay at their apartment for two weeks. Me and my penpal went sight seeing all over Korea. but then on our Seoul Trip she treated me like garbage and i told the mom when I got back and she felt bad for me so she put me in the fancy hotel. No she did not side with her daughter on that. It was the opposite.
Best answer:
Answer by Say it Like it Is
Im sorry this is really actually long. Please shorten it?
Add your own answer in the comments!
{ 2 comments… read them below or add one }
I’m not korean but I’m going to answer anyway. The penpal was a bit rude to you and you may have done something that offended her and not know it. The fact that you talked to each other should have gave her clear insight that you did not speak korean. I would just cut her off. I’m pretty sure not all korean girls are like that. BTW, You’ll get more answers if you condense you text…
I don’t know if it’s part of their culture or not. But being nice shouldn’t be a cultural trait. And being close-minded is not a cultural trait. Not all Koreans are close-minded and mean. Some are more open-minded. That girl was really mean to you and probably see an opportunity to take advantage of you. Your Korean penpal experienced the same thing when she was in the U.S., maybe she had a bad experience? Sometimes people tend to take out their anger issues on other people. Angry people want to make other people suffer because he/she had gone through tragedy.
When your penpal came to the U.S., she had the same experience with trying to read signs in English. She doesn’t see you as a friend if she let you figure things out by yourself. You shouldn’t be nice to her.
edit: Some people are just mean. There’s nothing that you can do about it. All mean people want to make other people feel inferior. Mean people are unhappy and doesn’t want other people to feel happy. If people doesn’t like you, just walk away from them. You don’t have to give them attention. Dont let that one incident bring you down.
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